The Gabriels: August 2008

When Taylor was born, Ken amazed me. He was so great with her. Of course I always knew he would be a great dad, but he was so attentive and hands on with her. He looked like a natural. He went with her every time they took her away, he bonded with her, and he changed all of her dirty diapers in the hospital. Even when we got home I would try and he'd push me away saying that I was doing it all wrong. =) He was also a baby hog. One time the nurse brought her in and put her bassinet in between our beds. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came out Ken had pulled the bassinet all the way over to his bed, and that's how him and Taylor slept that night.

So back to the diapers. The day after she was born he was changing one of her diapers and when he opened it he saw she had left him a nice little surprise. He yelled and jumped back, actually I think she was still going! So he went over to the sink and grabbed 2 rubber gloves!! Yes, rubber gloves that are there for the doctors and nurses! He put them on and continued to change her diaper. It was so funny! Even with the gloves on, he still wiped her as if he didn't have any on! My mom and Grandma were there to witness it and I'm so glad because it was one of those 'you had to be there' moments. I would post the picture but Taylor would kill me cause you can see her poop!

I was scheduled to be induced on Sunday August, 10th at 41weeks. We got to the hospital at 8pm. I have never been admitted into a hospital in my life and I wasn’t nervous whatsoever, I was too excited and ready to have my baby. At around midnight they started me on the ripening pill and I started dilating soon after. Of course I asked if I could get the drugs before I even started dilating, but unfortunately they don’t give the epidural until you are 4 cm. I got to 2/3cm at about 3am. The contractions hurt pretty badly but they weren’t ‘shot me in the head’ bad, but I still was unable to sleep through them. The nurse asked if I wanted this one drug (I forgot the name), she said it would make me feel like I just had a 6-pack. Yes please! It started working ASAP and it was amazing. Too bad it didn’t last very long and it only works once so no second dose for me. At around 5/6am they started me on the Pitocin. I reached 4cm a few hours later! Yay, epidural time! What an amazing feeling not to feel anything! Ken would watch the monitor and tell me I was having a contraction and I just laid there with a smile on my face. He started to sound like a coach every time a contraction came, he was cheering for more frequent and longer contractions. It was hysterical. Then my legs started to swell up, A LOT, and that was hysterical too! Each one felt like a giant 100lb sausage, if that’s what a 100lb sausage feels like. I remember at one point when they were on the stirrups, one leg started to slip off and I yelled, “Someone catch my leg!” all the while thinking that no one is going to be able to lift that thing. Ken caught it and put it back on the stirrup with no problem. What a weird and funny feeling. Ok, enough about my sausage legs.

I went from 5cm-10cm fairly fast which meant it was time to push! We were so excited. The nurse and Ken kept saying they can see the top of her head! I pushed for 2ish hours and Taylor was no where near coming out. The nurse checked me and said Taylor was caught on my pelvic bone. She had me push harder, like I wasn't already, to try and unstick Taylor but it didn't work. The doctor came in and said that he was going to try the clamps. Ken started to get nervous; he didn’t like the idea of tongs pulling out our baby. I, for some odd reason, was still calm and collective, even the doctor commented on it. I told Ken if it wasn’t safe they wouldn’t be doing it and to relax because she’s going to be here soon. He looked at me and asked if that was the drugs talking; he couldn't believe how calm I was. The forceps didn’t work so the doctor tried the vacuum. At every attempt he tried, her heartbeat would slow down. After a few failed attempts the doctor looked at the nurses and said this wasn’t working and we needed to stop. He said nothing else for what seemed like an hour. That’s when I lost it, what did he mean it’s not working and we have to stop? Why isn’t he suggesting a c-section? HELLO? Finally he said I would need an emergency c-section. I never thought I’d be so relieved to hear those words. Ken and I started to get really scared when we heard Taylor’s heartbeat drop, it was so terrifying! They wheeled me into the operating room and started ‘pumping me with drugs,’ as Ken says. I was laying there crying and shaking, oh I was shaking so uncontrollably. All we wanted was to hear Taylor's sweet little cry. I remember feeling a ton of pressure right under my ribs and then I could feel them pulling her out. And I thought my sausage legs were a weird feeling, wow! Ken and I heard Taylor cry and we were so relieved and happy!! She was here!! Come to find out, the cord was wrapped around her neck twice, which is why her heartbeat dropped when I was pushing. I told Ken to go with her when they took her to the nursery. The last thing I remember was telling them I had to puke. I tried to (in a bucket they had) but it hurt SO bad! I guess I passed out because when I woke up I was in our room and they were bringing Taylor to me!

I feel that my whole birth experience was amazing. Yeah, I didn’t get to have her vaginally, but whatever. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew I would have my baby one of two ways and I was completely fine with that. The part that upsets me is this; while pregnant, people always told me, “You’ll never forget the feeling you feel when you hold your baby for the first time.” Well, I can’t forget it because I don’t remember it. I had to ask Ken when I held Taylor for the first time. After he told me, I vaguely remember, but I still don’t remember ‘the feeling.’ But I’ve come to terms with it because I get ‘the feeling’ every single time I look at her and hold her, and that feeling will continue for the rest of my life.